"Yes!" - A Clergy Renewal Series by Rev. Alicia Speidel

They say the third time’s the charm, right? Well, I guess so because the third time I applied for the Clergy Renewal Grant through the Lily Endowment Fund, I got a “yes.” Were the first two no’s difficult and slightly devastating? Yes. I vividly remember opening those letters and letting the tears flow. Would I change the end result? No because I truly found rest and renewal on my sabbatical, thanks to Lily, my sabbatical committee, my congregation, my family, and friends.

My third proposal was the path I needed to breathe, reset, and just be. Or as the title of my sabbatical was, Savor. It was about savoring so many different aspects and milestones of life and faith. Plus, this proposal and plan were not similar to my first two proposals at all. The first two intertwined ideas and plans that I now realize were work, not renewal. I had to think outside the box. I had to dream. I had to understand that a sabbatical was and is to fill my soul, to bring a separation from all of the lists, tasks, and responsibilities of church life, and to reconnect in ways that were needed. It was truly a time to savor. It was what I needed after 21 years in ministry, having served two churches. The entire process, from the initial dreaming to journaling my ideas to forming a committee to committee meetings to conversations with the congregation to writing the grant proposal together to waiting for an answer, was fulfilling and life-giving. The support I felt to embark on this journey from the entire congregation was amazing. Church participants and leaders stepped up to take on additional responsibilities. They expressed their hope for our church to receive the grant. They participated in every step along the way, making it abundantly clear that they were supportive of me taking a sabbatical and them gaining new perspectives in the process. They were excited to have new voices speaking and leading while I was gone. They were engaged through everything. This was especially felt as my sabbatical committee dreamt with me, sharing their ideas, offering their insight, and helping to make the application process enjoyable.

That may sound crazy because the application is intense. The questions cover just about everything you could imagine for the ins and outs of a sabbatical. Plus then there is the detailed budget. It all adds up to a lot. And with a great committee and supportive individuals, the application is very intuitive in determining what will occur during the sabbatical. It simply takes time. Time that is well worth it. Time that needs to be spent. I know I appreciated all of it. Of course receiving a “yes” from Lily made it all possible. I will never forget opening the email and reading the “Congratulations” first thing in the morning. I was in shock and almost didn’t believe it. I called my husband to read the email. We shared the amazing news with our kids. Then came the rewarding part of telling my sabbatical committee. They were overjoyed, shouting and hugging me. It was wonderful.

Then there was the sabbatical. It was an incredible three months of savoring. I continue to give thanks for this opportunity and for knowing it was time for a sabbatical. I highly encourage clergy to take the leap, to put a sabbatical into play and to apply for the renewal grant, even if a no was received before, because sometimes the third time is the charm. Or it was for me.

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Rev. Alicia Speidel is a DSF/PSR graduate (M.Div./2002) and has served at Hood River Valley Christian Church in Oregon for 11 years. She enjoys long walks on the beach and camping with her husband, daughter, and son. She also loves her crazy cats, Yoda and Leia.