"In the Time of Old Age" - A Holy Tuesday Reflection from Rev. Nora Jacob

“Time. Time slows down. The days, months, years…They blur together.”

“We’re shut away, or we shut ourselves away. We’re ‘handled’ in groups.”

“It’s the same thing for us as it is for trauma victims or older people in the outside world: We have trouble being seen, heard, or believed a lot of the time too.”

“Nothing’s new, it’s all the same, and nobody’s noticing. Or rather, nobody seems to care.”

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These quotes above are from people whose lives have intersected and blessed mine as a restorative justice (RJ) facilitator, pastor, hospital chaplaincy trainee, and nonprofit founder. For the past 12 years, since my DOC ordination and UCC joint standing, I’ve walked with people who are in prison or reentering the wider community. My RJ work is called “social emotional education” in prison and other settings.  

At the heart of RJ practice is recognizing and respecting each person’s humanity. We use non-violent communication and work to promote healthy relationships of care and collaboration between and among us. In my faith language, I shorthand this as “co-creating the Kindom of God.”  

Most of the students in my prison groups have long sentences – meaning, term-to-life; life without possibility of parole (LWOP); or condemned (since San Quentin’s Death Row was closed and its population dispersed a few years ago). They have all sorts of faith backgrounds, too.

For the RJ classes that co-facilitators and I offer, incarcerated students generally decide to attend once they’re ready to risk changing and healing their lives – regardless of their age or stage of life.

They recognize that recovery – from addictions; from being abused; from the lies they’ve heard from social media, politicians, and more – is a lifelong journey, one dimension of the aging process. They grow tired of being “put to shame” (v. 1 of Psalm 71), and they begin to tell their stories of having been harmed and then hurting others in criminal ways. It is hope-generating and life giving.

Which leads me to Psalm 71, often lifted up as a beloved community “song” because it’s a prayer for lifelong support, protection, and help from God. The psalmist uses the stages of human life to frame the reason for this prayer, starting before our birth and leading to our old age. Recalling how alone and scary that could feel, the psalmist declares: Do not cast me off in the time of old age; do not forsake me when my strength is spent. For my enemies speak concerning me, and those who watch for my life consult together. They say, ‘Pursue and seize that person whom God has forsaken, for there is no one to deliver.’ (vv. 9-11)

A growing number of our aging parents, grandparents, and treasured “elders” may feel as though they, too, have been forsaken by God. Why? Having had our own years of youth…then adulthoods of greater or lesser satisfaction with family, friendships, personal interests, and/or employment…We may struggle today with physical and mental well-being, declining energy, limited resources, and more.

Yet, as social creatures, we – like everyone else – still need people, positivity, purpose, and joy in our lives.

This turns out to be very similar in some ways to adults (and juveniles too) who are incarcerated. Locked apart from their communities and families in mostly distant concrete and barbed-wire institutions/facilities, they may yet carry out what life-healing practices of self-care and rehabilitation are available to them.  

How might we step forward in an intentionally educational setting like prison classes to offer opportunities for healthy and respectful community-building between those who are aging and those who are incarcerated? This is a question that I and others are currently exploring.

What might that mean for us as Disciples? How might we better live into the DOC’s mission “to be and to share the Good News of Jesus Christ, witnessing, loving, and serving from our doorsteps to the ends of the earth?” To live into our vision of being a movement for wholeness in a fragmented world?

Let Psalm 71 speak into that vision.

In it, we are reminded of the power of faithfulness and the goodnesses that come from being loved by a God who is “a rock of refuge, a strong fortress” (v. 3). The passage we are given to reflect upon this Holy Week as we walk together toward the cross and beyond, ends with this verse: But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more. (v. 14)

Let us stand together as one human family – with our older adults, and with those imprisoned in concrete and barbed-wire “communities” of mass incarceration, and with all the rest of God’s beloveds – to affirm that we are people of hope and thankfulness.  

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Rev. Nora Jacob, a DSF/CST graduate (M.Div./2014), founded the non-profit Restoration & Resilience Alliance (www.r-ra.org) in 2024 after facilitating with restorative justice (RJ) groups and creating new educational RJ curriculum for classes with incarcerated people at the state prison in Chino, CA. Ordained in the DOC, she has joint standing in the United Church of Christ and currently serves part-time at Covina Community Church (UCC). She also serves part-time with the National Benevolent Association as its Restorative Justice Consultant. Rev. Nora’s a proud mom of her prison co-facilitator.