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Growing up in a Black household during the ‘70s, the issues and effects of mental health were not discussed. Although [I had to pass] the state psychiatric hospital Fair-Hill Mental Health Center to get to my high school, mental health was not a topic at our dinner table. Sometimes, I overheard adults speaking in code about persons who “lost their minds” or were having a brief stay at Fair Hill. As far as I can remember, there was just no room for that kind of talk. I understood from an early age that anything having to do with mental health, therapists, and counselors was considered shameful and taboo. Should someone suffer from mental health issues, they were considered weak. So, people hid their struggles. Growing up in the Black Church, I quickly learned that if one was feeling weak, disconnected, upset, or sad, those thoughts should be taken to the Lord in prayer only. I remember my grandfather, who was a Baptist Deacon, saying God is “a mind regulator.” During those years, my understanding of the Divine was to be treated as if God was the sole fixer of everyone and everything. There was no room for questioning or debate.
Seminary taught me that I did not have to settle for that explanation. I could seek God further in search of becoming more aware of the implications of poor mental health and to enlarge my understanding of God’s active role in faith, life, and mental health. Today my theology invites God into all processes around health: physical, mental, and spiritual. I can say with true conviction, “It is fine for me to seek God in prayer, but I can also see a therapist, get diagnosed, and get prescribed medication to support a full and rich life.” After seeing many people from the greater Cleveland area go through the doors of Fair Hill Medical Center, its doors closed in 1983. I am so thankful that people were being helped, even if it wasn’t out loud.
In 2013, I wrote a book titled, “Beneath It All: A Conversation Specifically for Women.” This book focuses on the plight of Black Women and their relationship to love, faith, money, and mental health. A friend asked me to write about what helps or hinders growth in these areas. From the onset, I was not adequately equipped to tell a story without taking time to do my own self-reflection. Doing so led to self-discovery about past relationships, poor mental, and struggles with insufficient financial health. Reflection, writing, and selling hundreds of books allowed me to launch deeper into the sea of mental health awareness. I am persuaded that when it comes to good mental health habits, regular self-care regiments, and promoting a good sense of all-around well-being, it enhances one’s quality of life.
Making my mental health a priority was the best thing I have ever done. Giving myself permission to take a break was huge, especially in situations when folks are expected to work tirelessly. Someone wrote, “To thine own self be true!” Well, I know that when I am at my absolute best, rest, relaxation, and community are involved. I tend to be calm, strong, and focused on things that are fruitful and life-generating. When anxiety, moodiness, fear, and edginess are present, I need to rest, reframe, regroup, and steal away. The signs of health and wholeness will insist on taking precedence in our lives, if we make room for healthy living: mind, body, and spirit. Although I am not always successful, I work hard holding myself accountable to good boundaries and much-needed rest. Inspirational writer, Eleanor Brownn said, “Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”
Taking charge, setting boundaries and delegating also help me to guard my mental health. Enlisted are my administrative assistant, my village/community, and participating in the spiritual disciplines to assist me in my plight for health. Using spiritual disciplines as touchstones offers a deeper way of connecting with God through prayer, fasting, meditation, singing, and reading Scripture. It is how I honor God and acknowledge my own frailties as a daughter of God and servant leader. The spiritual practices that I choose to engage enable me to use mindfulness as a way of being vulnerable and honest about my mental, physical, spiritual capacity and limitations. It leaves me with an avenue to seek health.
Anne Lamott states, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” I love this quote because those who participate in servant leadership barely unplug. The mirage of busyness, and the deluge of need, keeps leadership from taking time to properly care for their mental health. Servant leaders are always plugged in. Always having a full charge, in hopes of helping someone else. What leaders should know is that it is important that they “place their oxygen masks on first.” It seems selfish, and uncanny to help oneself first. Unplugging gives the opportunity to assist with a fully charged battery instead of one that is drained and has a short battery life. Choosing to honor oneself with rest, sleep, healthy eating, and community is important. It shows the church, family, and the world that you take seriously the mandate of God’s grace and good mental health at the same time, and when one is caring for others, they are indeed caring for themselves. It is an exchange, not a one-sided mechanical carnival ride. Therefore, it is important that rest, relaxation, vacation, days off, and mental health recalibration are always on the table with those who are governing boards and councils.
A “Self-Care Clause” should be added to every contract for clergy and servant leaders. They must make the conscience choice to care for themselves while practicing what they preach to others. Clergy should visit their primary care physician regularly. Diet and exercise are important factors to add to their rituals. Most servant leaders are working on average 60-85 hours per week. This leaves most empty, without time for family or themselves. I would tell servant leaders do not allow feelings of false responsibility to keep the ego heightened and chained to work. Training and delegating to others can ease or in some cases erase the burden in our lives. If servant leaders continue burning the candle at both ends, this could possibly lead to illness, malpractice, malfeasance, misconduct, and burnout.
The plight of women and self-care is important in my mission. As a Black Woman, I must help other women remember that it is okay to lay down the cape, purse, and stilettos to care for ourselves (especially Black Women).
Acknowledging, in the twenty-first century the mental and moral agency of every woman is on the line, regardless of her hue. Yet, I purport that Black Women have had to leverage their safety, physical, and mental health as they continue to be radically consumed with the care and well-being of everyone else. Black Women deserve pleasure. They deserve rest, recalibration, and the gentleness that comes along with self-care. This can no longer be used as a bargaining tool. It is a God-given rite and right. Women are no longer suffering in silence. We are speaking, seeking, and asking for therapists, spiritual directors, pastors, and support animals, or help from the community, to address mental health needs. This is a clarion call for wholeness and holy health inside of the four walls of the church and outside. Therefore, let’s do whatever is necessary to sound the alarm about mental health awareness. This will leave all people feeling better and walking toward more impactful lives.
Rev. Dr. Christal L. Williams is a native of Cleveland, OH. She is a graduate of the Cleveland School of the Performing Arts, Jarvis Christian University (BS), Christian Theological Seminary (M.Div.), and United Theological Seminary (D.Min.). Christal is an author, a 21st-century spiritual leader voice, and a Bridge Builder. Currently, she is the Regional Minister of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Indiana and the President of the College of Regional Ministers. She is a sister, aunt, and godmother. She resides in Indiana.
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